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The two Americas are in a toxic relationship, and divorce is the only way out

We can continue to try and fit a square peg in a round hole, but Germany and France have more in common than the American left and right.



America has been in a miserable, loveless relationship for over 150 years. Ever since The Civil War, America has consisted of two groups of people trying–and failing–to occupy the same space. One side has been perfectly fine with the way things are, while the other has tried, slowly, to speak up about their unhappiness with the way things are. This is the essence of the conservative/liberal divide: One has always wanted to preserve the way things are, while the other has recognized that the way things are isn’t equal or just, and it should change.

For over 150 years, this has been a one-sided relationship where conservatives have been pleased with the way things are, while liberals have sat quietly and waited for the right time to speak up about the oppression and mistreatment of women, minorities, LGBTs, the poor, and other marginalized groups. We’ve had moments in our history where concessions were made in order to co-exist–and we even fought an entire war over it–but we’re currently living in a time when liberals have been at their loudest in U.S. history. In past generations, marginalized groups faced far more societal consequences for voicing their opinion too loudly, or at all. But now that the abused spouse is finally speaking up louder than ever before, all hell as broken loose.

Now, we’re both miserable.

When couples have irreconcilable differences, they typically divorce rather than stay in a relationship that they’re both unhappy with, especially when it has turned ugly and violent. We’re to the point where conservatives are so disgusted with liberals calling them out on their racism and bigotry that they were willing to elect the walking embodiment of the 7 deadly sins just to piss off their liberal partner. Reason, logic, compassion, empathy, and a basic desire for the truth has all been thrown out the window all in an effort to hurt the other side, and in a way we have never seen in this country’s history. At one point, Republicans were willing to impeach Richard Nixon after the Watergate scandal, regardless of his party affiliation. But now, Trump could confess on live TV that he colluded with Russia and personally killed people in the process, and Republican politicians and voters would still stand by him if for no other reason than to piss off liberals.

We’re past the point where uniting is even a remote possibility. Uniting requires compromise. And how do you compromise with people who flat out do not want to share this country with black and brown people? How do you compromise with people who see children as young as 8 months old in cages and immediately try to come up with a reason to justify it?

Conservatives will not bend. They will not compromise. They don’t want to talk. They don’t want to share. They don’t want to co-exist. The past 18 months of this presidency, and the continued support by conservatives has showed us that much.

If unity is not possible, our only other remaining choices are to stay together and destroy one another, or to finally separate.

The cat is out of the bag right now and there’s no going back. LGBT voices are loud and will never again be silenced without a fight. Same goes for the #MeToo movement, Black Lives Matter, and every other cause to promote equality and justice. It will only get worse if the right continues to push back against these voices the same way any relationship would get worse if one partner attempts to silence the other, strong-willed partner. War is inevitable if we stay on this course. You have one side who is determined to push for equality, and the other who is determined to stop it by any means, even if it means harming themselves in the process. This is why we are seeing the slow destruction of America and its global standing under Trump, and why we will see the complete devaluation and destruction of this country if we do not peacefully divorce one another.

Yes, we could vote out every single GOP member of Congress and Trump himself in the coming years, but would that end the issue of our polarized society? The Civil War ended 153 years ago, but we are still dealing with the exact same problem of one side refusing to treat others as equals and share this country with people who don’t look, pray, and think the way they do. Removing them from office will only be a temporary fix to a deeply-rooted problem within this country. This problem won’t go away when this generation dies off, just as it hasn’t after previous generations died off between The Civil War and now.

They want this country for their own. They don’t want brown people in it. They don’t want black people in it. They don’t want Muslims in it. They don’t want anyone who isn’t like them in it. And there are enough of them that they will continue to make the rest of our lives an anxiety-inducing hellscape for generations to come–if we don’t destroy each other first–if we continue to force them to live next door to brown people. They will continue to elect politicians and pass laws more extreme than the ones before, all in an effort to return things the way they used to be. Back when oppressed people knew their place and conservatives were free to live their bigoted lives in peace.

This is why I say separation is inevitable. Our ideal societies are polar opposites of one another: Conservatives want a white-dominated, Christian society, while liberals want a more inclusive society where diversity and equality is encouraged and supported. We can continue to try and fit a square peg in a round hole, but we have more differences between us than Germany and France do at this point. We have been operating as two separate nations trying to wrestle control away from one another for some time now, instead of one united country trying to do what’s best for everyone involved. It’s just time we start facing that fact and stop holding each other back from the lives that each of us want to lead. Conservatives should be able to live their lives the way they want, regardless of how self-destructive their society would be, and liberals should be able to do the same.

The details of the separation will take some time to iron out, but that’s the case with any divorce. The alternative of staying married when neither one of us wants to stay in a relationship is the worst thing for all involved, though. Let’s just move on with our lives so we can all have some peace at some point, even if our two versions of peace are completely opposite from one another’s.

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